Flashback Friday: The difference a year can make

My biggest fear when I lost my job was that unemployment would turn me lazy.  A year later, that's still my fear.  Especially, as I was looking over my photos from last November and December and I cannot believe all the things I/we did.  Last year, I was in stay-busy-for-survival mode.  It was how I distracted myself from losing my job.  A daily, overloaded to-do list was how I tallied my worth...even when I only completed 25% of the list.  A year ago, I had two little girls at home with me, running circles around me while I organized junk drawer after junk drawer, closet after closet, pantry after pantry.  A year later, there's just one little girl, the drawers are back to being junky, the closets messy, and the pantries not so organized.  There's a voice in the back of my mind going, "Yup, you've turned lazy."

Well, a year ago, I wasn't growing a human.  I should cut myself some slack based on this, but I keep thinking, "With all three of my other pregnancies, I was either in school, working, or both, and I didn't have the choice to be lazy."  Maybe lazy isn't the right word - maybe it's just succumbing to nature.  It's giving in to the naps when I have a chance.  It's getting out of the house for a change of scenery instead of pouring myself into some sort of chore.  It's sitting on the couch with a hot tea and Sarah, watching and singing along with Sesame Street or Bubble Guppies, just because I can.

Well I've done the "succumbing" thing for long enough.  While I still have a few weeks left in my second trimester, I'm going to kick it up a notch.  I'm going to take on some projects, have some holiday fun, make some crafts, bake a lot of goodies, and maybe just maybe I'll even do a little exercising.  I have a lot to live up to from last year:

I'm totally getting the list paper out.  But this year, it's not to distract me from depression or so I can feel worthwhile.  This year, it's because I want to.  Bring it, holiday season.  This year, I'm going to enjoy you to the fullest!


Debbie said...

Totally random comment here, but I want some of those stacked cooling racks in a big way.

And I don't believe for one minute that you are lazy.

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