The Mom List...because this WOHM needs a distraction

You fear going to the pediatrician's office, especially for well-child check ups because you know the place is teeming with germs.  If you're all healthy two or three days later, you thank your lucky stars you made it through unscathed, and vow to write a thank you note to Purell and immunity supporting Flintstone vitamins for making it all possible.

You thank God every day for a family-friendly boss who lets you come and go as situations (i.e.-random fevers, possible concussions, potty accidents) arise.

Your kids find so much delight in drinking water from the water cooler at your office that you wonder if they could possibly occupy themselves with that for 8 hours a day.  It would save you a good bit of cash on the daycare front.

You are acutely aware that there is no toy so cool as an old cell phone.  Except for maybe a new, functioning cell phone.  On which they can call China.

You might be a "yankee" by origin where such titles are often considered offensive, but you have trained yourself to reply to questions with "sir" or "ma'am" so as to provide the appropriate example for your children.

You have told your kids a "when I was your age" story, referencing anything from card catalogs to sharing one common cup at hockey practice to actually having to watch *live* tv and having to point the remote AT the tv.

You were in the mood for pizza, so you got industrious, rolled out a crust, only to discover that the only mozzarella you have in the house is in the form of string cheese.  Soooo...you get jiggy with the cheese grater.

You can already embarrass your kids by saying things like "get jiggy with the cheese grater", giving you a glimpse of how much fun the teenage years are going to be.

It never fails that your children only request breakfasts with syrup when they're freshly bathed.

You've had to hide your kids' Halloween costumes in an attempt to make them actually last through Halloween.

You get more excited about making goody bags than your kids get about receiving them.

You have (or know someone who has) a box of clothes in the attic labeled "Memory Clothes".  Your children might never wear them again, and you'll probably never look at them again, but by golly you're keeping the outfit your kid wore the first time he tried rice cereal or the first time she had a fall that resulted in stitches.