How to Know You're a Mom - Wicked Wednesday

Not one single day has gone by since your children could talk that they didn't protest bedtime.

You hear your kids drop something on the floor, and without looking you already know it's the newest, most expensive thing you've bought.

Consequently, you stop buying new, expensive things...and vow not to again until the kids move out or retirement (whichever comes first).

You have washed an entire load of footie pajamas.

You hold a newborn, and swear that your own child was never that tiny.  (Even though they totally were.)

You have walked some ridiculous distance carrying a child with a soiled diaper in search of a clean, flat surface where you can change them.  (Preferably away from people so that the stink doesn't bother them.)

You learned to improvise and have now changed a child on your lap, in the seat of an airplane, in the trunk of a car, in the stroller, and behind a curtain on the ground at the fair.  With a little imagination, the possibilities are endless.

You have said something to your child only to see them transform into Amelia Bedelia right before your eyes.  For example, you tell them to hold their horses...and they reply, "We don't have any horses!"  Or you've mentioned that they got up on the wrong side of the bed...and the reply is, "I can't!  There's a wall there!"

Just like when you'd watch a movie when you were younger and living at home, and your parents would always walk in during a fit of incessant cursing or a sex scene, so it goes when you have children.  They do the same thing.  It's some kind of innate sixth sense.

You have discovered that people react in irrational ways towards pregnancy.  Suddenly strangers are touching your belly and commenting on your weight.  Are these things acceptable among non-pregnant people?  No.  I don't think carrying an unborn child changes the rules.

You politely smile and oblige when someone kidless says that they're tired.  You and I both know, they have no idea.