Mom Things!!!! (They actually aren't worthy of 4 exclamation marks, but read them anyway.)

You've been pantsed by a toddler trying to scale your leg, probably while in the kitchen trying to prepare a meal or load/unload the dishwasher.

You feel obligated to apologize to strangers for your 8-month old's "staring problem".

You and your husband have verbally compared/contrasted the size & shape of your children's naked hineys with each other.

You hear the word "supply" and your thoughts immediately go to breastmilk.

You alternate between 20 minute power naps and coffee to get you through the exhaustion.  The jury is still out on which works better.  (So far, the guess is neither.)

As soon as you find out you're pregnant, you are suddenly barraged with pregnant people...friends, strangers at the grocery store, people on tv...they're all pregnant.  Why is it that you never noticed that before?

You've given yourself a mommy time-out, whether as a disciplinary action or as a reward. 

You've contemplated putting the kids to bed in their school clothes so as to skip that step the next morning.  The only reason you reconsidered is that you know there will be syrup involved at breakfast and that would totally defeat the purpose.

The most fun you've ever seen your kids have is when they found a tiny frog swimming in the kiddie pool in the backyard, and also when a tree fell on the fence, and they subsequently piled all of its wood into a bonfire pile.  You witness it and smile, relishing the free entertainment.  Then you wonder, why on earth do you pay to go to places like the aquarium and fair? 

Only a parent would know that when your child asks to watch "Jello Man and Woman", she's talking about "Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs."


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