How to Know You're a Mom - While the girls are sleeping

You have a pile of tiny, unmatched socks in your laundry room the size of Mount Everest.

You aren't exactly sure why, but when your 3 year old makes up incomprehensible songs it's funny.  When your 6 year old does it, it's just annoying.

While holding a pair of jumper cables, your son inquires which end (the red or black) is negative to ground.  Flabbergasted that he knows this, you ask him where he learned it.  His reply:  Phineas and Ferb.  See, TV *can* be educational.

You have a sixth sense for detecting ear infections in infants.  (Your accuracy thus far is about 97.8%.  One time you guessed yay and it was a nay.  In that case, it was okay to be wrong.)

It never ceases to amaze you how bad your kids are at finding things.  For instance, you have instructed your child to put their shoes on/the top on a marker/their old cup in the sink, only to hear them respond, "I can't find them/it."  Of course, the object is literally on the floor in front of them, practically biting them. 

You learned the hard way that giving your child sugar wafers  in the grocery store is a bad way to keep them occupied.  Unless, of course, it's your goal to have a hyperactive two year old that sprints and squeals up and down the aisles of Kroger.  (Fortunately, you learned this when you only had one child to contend with.)

You boycott restaurants that don't include a drink with a kids meal.

At any meal, you know to keep a 2-foot radius clear of food, utensils, pots/pans, etc next to any high chair.  Their arms may only be about 10 inches long, but their reach is incredible!

You always made fun of your mother for failing to keep your baby book up to date, and instead recording milestones on post-it notes and throwing them in a random pile of papers.  Then one day you realize that you've fallen into the same pattern, but instead of post-it notes, the dates of your child's first cereal and roll over are written on the back of a piece of junk mail.

You think very carefully before you ask your three year old what is in her mouth.  Sometimes, you just don't need to know.