the stuff that moms are made of

Despite the sweet intentions of your three year old, you've had to reprimand her for sharing food with your infant.  The likelihood of her sharing increases as the choking hazard of the food increases.  Among the things you've dug out of your infant's mouth thanks to your generous three year old:  popcorn, raisins, hot dogs, and chewy sweettarts.

You have at least one child who would subsist entirely on chocolate milk if given the opportunity.

Your usually very intelligent and articulate six year old son thinks it is hilarious to make animal sounds, screeching noises, and small shrieks at the end of every spoken sentence or as a reaction to directions from you.  You've found out that neither ignoring them or acknowledging them makes them go away.  And mocking them only makes it worse.  Find the solution to *that* in some parenting book for me, pretty please.

You don't own a fancy cell phone, just a functional one, because you know that it will inevitably become your infant's favorite chew toy.  And don't dare try to give a baby an old cell phone to play with.  Even they know how lame a dead cell phone is.

You've experienced this exact situation more times than you can count:  Kids 1 & 2 are playing next to each other, but not together.  Kid 1 picks up one of Kid 2's toys and starts playing with it.  Kid 2 notices and tries to snatch it back.  Kid 1 tattles on Kid 2 for snatching.  Kid 2 whines because "It's MY toy!"  You tell Kid 2 they need to learn how to share, Kid 1 had it first.  Kid 2 replies with, "But I was just ABOUT to play with it!"  Eye rolling ensues.

You have discovered that making your kids run laps in the backyard has proven to be an excellent form of discipline.

You feel the need to explain each of the bruises on the forehead of your newly toddling baby to everyone you see, as if people don't know that barely-walking babies fall a lot.

Pink blankets, hair bows, and dresses are apparently not indicative of gender because you have answered the question "Is that a little girl or boy?" way too many times.  You've seen this bib and think it would be cute for your baby girl to wear, but you make a bet with yourself that you would still have to answer the question, even while she was wearing it.

Your son chooses the short ride to school as the time to ask the some of the world's deepest questions including topics such as kidnappers, bank robbers, the banking industry in general, heaven, and anatomy of invertebrates, at which time you feebly attempt to answer him completely and accurately in three minutes or less.

You regret buying the Disney princess underwear for your two year old girl because you had no idea how passionately she would feel about which princesses she will wear and when.