Mom Things - Have a Very Merry Christmas!!!

You can convince your kids to try anything if it's dipped in ketchup.

You have grown to hate glitter.

You know that little white lies, like referring to pork chops as chicken nuggets if it gets your kids to eat them, are mostly harmless and often necessary.

You experience the joy right along with them when your child learns how to assemble a puzzle, or sound out words all by themselves.  There's nothing quite like that fresh sense of accomplishment and pride.

At some point, you will clean chapstick off the floor, marker off the walls, and syrup off the underside of a table.  All in one day.  And not think a thing about it.

You can agonize for months over what gifts to get your kids for Christmas.  They will always want what the other one got.  Gender and age is irrelevant.

You are startled, but not surprised, when you find pine needles in your child's underwear and scalp.

You know that there is no way to prevent or predict the outlandish things your child will say at top volume in the midst of a quiet setting like in a church service, during a blessing, or in a doctor's waiting room.  You also know that however embarrassing whatever they say might be, the best reaction is a smile and a quiet "shh".  Chances are the people around you will find it humorous (and if they don't, Bah Humbug to them).

If you can't find your daughter, and she's not swinging from a rafter somewhere, the next logical place you look is in the pantry.  She's probably in there.  Sneaking chocolate.

You understand the code names your kids have for the local restaurants like The Peanut Restaurant (Logan's Roadhouse), The Orange One at Daddy's Work (Pizza Depot), The Fire Restaurant (Any Japanese Steakhouse).