That's How Moms Roll - The List 11.18.09

You never realized the amount of kissing in Disney movies until your 3-year old started grabbing you by the cheeks with both hands and laying awkwardly long kisses on your mouth.

You know first hand how frightening it is to be woken up by a child staring at you from just inches away.

If you've lost something, you look in the crack between your bed and mattress first.  It seems to be a popular hiding spot for the kids.  The second favorite, unfortunately, is the trash can.

You have feigned sleep when your child walks into your room at 3am, so your husband has to be the one to return her to her bed.

Your kids never have anything to say to you until you're in the middle of a phone call.  And the more important the phone call, the louder they are.

You've debated with yourself over whether or not to call poison control.  For example, "Surely self-inking stamp pads made for children aren't toxic.  But this one is pretty old.  They didn't have the same standards back then.  On the other hand, she's already spit up, so it's probably okay.  I'll just keep an eye on her."  (Note:  The conversation in your head would NOT have been the same with Child #1.)

Your child's teacher is somewhat private, which makes you all the more determined to participate in classroom activities.

You really ought to know better than to wear a black shirt to work with an infant in tow.  You will make it as far as the daycare where you'll be adorned with a spot of spit-up or snot on your shoulder.  And there's just no getting that completely off.

You always end up with more markers than there are tops to put on them.

You spend most of your time picking up socks, marveling the whole time at the sheer number of feet your kids must have to produce that many dirty socks.

You start stockpiling food for the teenage years in hopes that feeding your bottomless pits (aka kids) won't force you to take a second mortgage out on your home.


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