How to Know You're a Mom ~ First Week of Fall Edition!

Admittedly, these have absolutely nothing to do with fall.  I just love it!

  • You know the alternative uses for elastic hairbands, including but not limited to: giving you a couple extra inches on your pants (either before you're big enough for maternity clothes or as you're trying to fit back into regular ones) and allowing you to pump hands-free.
  • Politics aside, you just couldn't get past the Bob the Builder-ness of Obama's campaign slogan in the last presidential election.
  • You keep a mental list of which stores' restrooms are easily accessible and, more importantly, not icky.
  • You've quite literally cried over spilled [breast]milk.
  • Your son is only 6, but you start feeling sad about him going off to college and getting married.
  • You become an oracle of sorts, and surmise that your son is destined for a career as a civil engineer when, at the zoo, he cares very little for the animals, but wants to know how they get their water, why the water in the penguin tank is swirling, and what happens when it rains.
  • Thanks to her charisma and evasiveness, you fear that your "innocent" almost-three year old is destined for a career in politics.
  • You've caught spit-up or vomit in your bare hand. Gross? Yes. But that's reality.
  • A large portion of your phone messages and grocery lists are written in crayon.
  • You've had the most embarrassing of conversations in the not-so-private confines of a bathroom stall...like "Mommy, who's pooping? I heard a toot! (snicker)" To which you reply, "Shhh...we'll talk about it later." Or, "Shh, I don't know. But that's what bathrooms are for..."
  • You have had to explain why it's not acceptable to go pantsless in the front yard...or at a restaurant.
  • You become a translator, for a language that you don't really speak. After many frustrating tears and a lot of yelling (and not just by your two year old), you finally figure out that when she says she wants to watch "Warner Robins", she means she wants to watch the movie, "Meet the Robinsons".


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