Thursday Thirteen - Kids Say

I always loved the show Kids Say the Darndest Things - but, when Bill Cosby brought it back, not the original with Art Linkletter - I'm just not quite that old. 

And I guess because I loved that show back before I had kids, I'm constantly prowling for some of the darndest things my own offspring can spout off.

Believe me when I tell you it's a daily occurrence.

Today's thirteen is a compilation of some of my favorite darndest things.

Without further ado:

1.  (to Sam) At the hospital, I didn't see, how did that man get Abby out of Mommy's belly?
2.  Me: Who wants spaghetti for dinner?
     Abby: Ohhh!! I do! Yay Sketti!
     Ben: (scoffing) Ha! She said 'sketti'...Abby, it's BUH-sketti.
3.  The last time I went to the hospital was when Abby was boring. 
4.   [Regarding his precious baby sister] If she poops, I won't love her anymore.
5.  [To Ben who was laying in crunch position on the floor, watching tv]
     Me: Doing some sit-ups?
     Ben: [looking back quizzically] Not me! I'm doing some lay-downs.

6.  Why can't I wear just underwear to the restaurant?
7.  (exasperated) We talked about Benjamin Franklin, and everyone in my class kept looking at me. 
8.  Mommy, if you were captured by pirates, would you choose to join their crew....or die!?
9.  (singing the song from Snow White) I'm wishing, I'm wishing for the one I love to find me, to find me Tues-day.
10.  Me: Did you go outside today?
       Abby: No, I went outside threeday.
11.  Stop crying, Sarah.  There's nothing wrong with you.
12.  Are you trying to silence me, Mommy?
13.  I want some porn!  (by the way, that means popcorn...to her)

Okay - I'm cheating....here's a bonus:

     Ben: Mommy, do you know what "Warp of War" means?
     Me: No, what does it mean?
     Ben: It means "please" in Spanish.
     Me: I think you mean "Por favor"...

That's that and the end.  Short and sweet - otherwise known as the opposite of me.  (wink, wink)

And all of Jennie's kids said, "Happy Thursday!!!"


Ron. said...

Not playing the 13s this week, but I enjoyed your list very much. I'm old enough to remember the Linkletter show. Your kids woulda been standouts.

Debbie said...

I started laughing at the first one, and I kept on smiling all the way through Warp of War.

BTW, I AM "quite old enough" to remember the original show. Your kids would be show stealers.

(And thank you for praying. I actually need them very much right now.)

Debbie said...

And btw, I noticed the omission of a certain favorite of mine. Did you forget the coity incident?

Whoops. Laughing again.

Sharon said...

Stop it - my stomach hurts from laughing.

Hey, what's the deal throwing us *oldies* under the bus - I liked Art Linkletter's version, just sayin'...

Oh Debbie - yes, I'd almost forgotten about coity. Wait, that didn't sound right...

OK, Jennie - here's one of my early conversations with my youngest. He was in 2nd grade. He's like 7 at the time:

"Mom, I think Jacqueline's on the women this week."
(I pause - isn't 7 years old a LITTLE early for Aunt Flo to show up, I think...)
"Yeah, she's been absent for a couple of days."
(Poor girl, PMS in grade school???)
"So, I think she must be on the women."
"Son, what exactly do you mean?"
"You know. When you're feeling better, you're on the men. She's sick, so she's on the women."

Love these days, Jennie - and write down the dialogue. It'll make you laugh years later, and/or give you great material for a blog post, or blackmail.

xoxo :)

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