Peanut Butter in Your Hair Wednesday

You have to be careful what you say every minute of the day or you will be called out on it.  "Mommy, one time, when I was three, you said you know everything, but you just now said, 'I don't know.'"

If you lay down for 0.2 seconds on the floor, on the couch, or pretty much anywhere in the vicinity of your children, your body instantly turns into a jungle gym on which 3 children freely jump, burrow, and bounce.  Consequently, you haven't laid down for more than 0.2 seconds since 2003.

Since you don't and probably won't ever have a dog in the house, the children have adapted by creating their own game during which one kid pretends they are the dog and the other one throws a ball so they can go retrieve it.  With their mouth.  They have even fashioned a harness out of ribbon.  Yeah, that's probably not safe.

You can't remember the last time you went out in public when one of your children wasn't wearing either their shoes on the wrong feet, an article of clothing on backwards, or a smear of an unidentifiable sticky substance across a clean outfit.

You marvel at your wiry 36lb four-year-old carrying your solid 27lb two-year-old on her hip.  That must be along the lines of an ant carrying a peanut or something, right?

Since you started staying at home you've become ever so grateful for library story-time, but that doesn't stop you from feeling the inevitable anxiety that accompanies you before and during as you hope and pray that your two-year-old does not take the opportunity to showcase her log-rolling abilities across the entire room.  (Again.)

It might be uncool (to them), but you are going to rock the matching outfits on your girls for as long as they manufacture matching outfits in their sizes.

 

Yeah, okay, so TV is bad.  Blah, blah, blah.  You are secretly infatuated the Hub channel that shows Jem, Pound Puppies, and My Little Pony so you can get your flashback-to-the-80's fix with your own children.

You downloaded a bunch of free games on your Kindle "for your kids".

When big brother's away, the little sisters do play [in his room with all of his stuff].

If you can purge the contents of your overly-filled bathroom drawers and cabinets without a call to poison control for your two-year-old, you can pretty much do anything.  (But don't take that to mean she didn't at
least try to eat Rolaids, bubble bath, and deodorant during he purging process.)

While kids may cause you to go gray faster, wrinkle more abundantly, and shed more exasperated tears than you ever dreamed, the gift of a perpetually young heart has not been lost on you.