Quotable Quotes

If I were the repetitive, boring type, I would automatically post a Flashback Friday.

I actually am the repetitive, boring type.  But today, I'm sharing a few of the ridiculous quotes my kids entertained me with last Friday.  Kind of a flashback, but an unofficial one at best.

I make the rules up as I go.  In life and on this blog.  That's no secret.

Last Friday, as the hours were winding down toward the end of Sam's work day, and the end of a very-long-week in the life of a woman thrust into the trenches of stay-at-home-mom-dom, I was completely and utterly exhausted.  If you recall, last week, I cried.  It was the culmination of a non-sleeping toddler, a sassy seven year old, and an unusually good four year old (Thanks, Abby), who had apparently gotten together and decided to play "Tag!" when it came to deciding whose turn it was to be bad.  Momentary brag alert - My kids are awesome.  They really aren't bad.  Frustrating, strong-willed, and busy busy busy, maybe.  But they aren't bad.  Last week was just one of those off weeks.  For them and me.

So by Friday, I cried.

Then I decided to turn my frown upside down.  Because, honestly, the little humans who share this house with me are awesome.  And part of their awesomeness is their accidental hilarity.

The phrase - You have to laugh to keep from crying - comes to mind.  That was last Friday for me.  (I don't "do" exhaustion well, folks.  I confess.)  Though, I often strive to do that daily.  It's a good way to live.  After all, laughter is the best medicine, right?  (Sleep is a close second.)

Anyway, around 3:30pm last Friday, I decided to write down the ridiculously funny things my kids had said and done to make me smile that day.  And here they are for you - though, looking at them now - they were probably just funny because I was tired.  You be the judge.

As usual, I will take whatever liberties I need to in order to properly explain the joke.

[Pssst, Jennie, be quiet and get to the quotes.]

From Ever-Random Abby

[As I sat hunched over the laptop on the floor] What are you doing?  Texting?

Hilarious.  We don't text.  We live in the stone age.  The fact that she somehow still knows that texting exists cracked me up.  Though, it's obvious she doesn't know what it actually is, seeing as how it takes a phone and not a computer.

 

Hey Mommy, your rules are disgusting.  And besides, I don’t like your voice.

I know I should have been upset about this, but she said it with a smile.  I think the delivery was the  best part.  She had no idea what she was talking about.  

How long until we get to Grammies?  Twenty minutes?  Because that would be awful.

How about we're staying home this weekend with no plans to go to Grammie's house?  It's going to be A LOT longer than 20 minutes.

I never got dessert after we ate at Logan’s.

Well that was four days ago, Abby, and as much as I hate to break it to you, we can't save up the times we were deprived dessert and cash them in later.  (That's totally what she was trying to do.)

Abby, who do you want to see at Disney World?
The sea witch who steals Ariel’s throat.

Of all the characters in all the Disney and Pixar movies combined, she picks Ursula to seek out at Disneyworld.  And yikes, she stole Ariel's throat?  That sounds a little graphic.  (Told you she didn't know what a voice was.)

Abby (on the way to soccer evaluations:  What team am I going to be on?
Me:  We’ll find out when they tell us.
Abby:  I want to be on the Pom-Poms.
Me:  Is that a team?  Who told you about it?
Abby:  I know about soccer.  I play it ALL DAY.

True story, the evaluation is the first time she'd even touched a soccer ball.  She sank every shot on goal.  Maybe she plays it all day in her dreams?

What do you want to do today, Abby?
Play and eat ice cream.

Now THAT sounds like a plan.

Abby (from the back seat on the way to Dunkin' Donuts for a much needed coffee for Mom):  Can I have a donut?
Me:  No, because you already had candy.
Abby:  Oh.  Well I didn’t want the candy.

If only it worked that way....

Why am I talking like this?

 

From Sometimes Silly, Sometimes Serious Sarah

Don’t crying, Mommy. 

It was a sweet attempt at consoling me from inside her crib as she refused to go to sleep.  The incorrectness of it made me smile...through the tears.

Me (showing her a banana):  What’s this, Sarah?
Sarah:  NANNY!

This was the first time she ever called it that.  It used to be "nana".  And she cried out "Nanny!" as if she was being reunited with a long-lost friend.  

From the Usually Intelligent Ben

Background - Our entire family was resting on pillows, covered in blankets, on the living room floor.  Ben announced that he was really going to sleep so everyone needed to be quiet.  We didn't heed his instructions.

At which point he asked...

I thought I was a heavy sleeper.  So why do I still hear everything?

Oh Ben.  Probably because you are still AWAKE.

I'm delighted to report that this week went much better.  My sweet Samuel let me take a ridiculously long nap on Sunday, at which point I woke up to a spotless house.  And while that was awesome, he had managed to do in 3 hours what I had failed to do in a whole week.  I'm wondering if this stay-at-home mom thing is for me, after all. 

Thanks to everyone who interceded and wished me luck on the interview.  It went well.  It felt like more of a chit-chat than an interview.  The men who work there are as good as gold, but I know that I have stiff competition.  It is highly probable that I have the least experience in the group of interviewees.  Whatever will be will be.  I'll hopefully find out sometime next week.

Happy Friday, everyone!  Have a very blessed weekend!