Thursday 13 ~ Stupid Comedy Edition

I have to tell you that I am a glutton when it comes to stupid comedies.  I'm not sure if this is something people would expect from me or not.  I am sure that I'm not exactly proud of it, but watching movies like Dumb & Dumber (to name a classic) is my ultimate release.  My guilty pleasure isn't confined to the realm of cinema, however.  I enjoy mindless television too.  I won't even touch on reality tv (which I truly am embarrassed to confess that I watch).  I'm referring to the late, great comedies that were Cheers, Seinfeld, Friends...to name a few.  I'm pretty sure it's in my genes.  My father is the same way.  So I can either thank him for it or blame him for it.  Either way...

In the words of George Costanza, "I don't know, I like stuff you don't have to think about too much."

That is, to me, the definition of relaxation.  Allowing my brain to take a break.  Completely.  And then add laughing to it.  Bliss, I tell you.

I'm sure there are other (better) ways to reset the brain.  Feel free to share those with me.  What do you do to give your brain a vacation?  That's your homework assignment.  Please enlighten me.

In the meantime, for your entertainment, please enjoy my favorite lines from thirteen of my favorite brain vacations:

1. Airplane
   Rumack: Can you fly this plane, and land it?
   Ted Striker: Surely you can't be serious.
   Rumack: I am serious... and don't call me Shirley.
   
2. Dumb & Dumber
   Harry: I thought the Rocky Mountains would be a little rockier than this.
   Lloyd: Yeah, that John Denver is full of [another word for poo], man.
3. Down Periscope
   XO Pascoe: Buckman! There was a fingernail in my food, you moron!  Yesterday, it was a band-
   aid.
   Buckman: I'm sorry, sir. The Band-Aid was holding the fingernail on.
   
4. Young Frankenstein
   Inga: Werewolf!
   Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Werewolf?
   Igor: There.
   Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: What?
   Igor: There, wolf. There, castle.
   Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Why are you talking that way?
   Igor: I thought you wanted to.
   Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: No, I don't want to.
   Igor: [shrugs] Suit yourself. I'm easy.
   
5. Blazing Saddles
   Lyle: Come on, boys! The way you're lollygaggin' around here with them picks and them shovels, you'd think it was a hundert an' twenty degree. Can't be more than a hundert an' fourteen.
   
6. The Naked Gun
   Frank: It's the same old story. Boy finds girl, boy loses girl, girl finds boy, boy forgets girl, boy remembers girl, girls dies in a tragic blimp accident over the Orange Bowl on New Year's Day.
   Jane: Goodyear?
   Frank: No, the worst.
7. National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation
   Clark: Can I refill your eggnog for you? Get you something to eat? Drive you out to the middle of nowhere and leave you for dead?
   Eddie: Naw, I'm doing just fine, Clark.
8. Spaceballs
   Dark Helmet: So, Lone Star, now you see that evil will always triumph because good is dumb.
   
9. Hot Shots: Part Deux
   Topper Harley: Ramada, I want to be with you. I want to hold you. I want to meet your parents and pet your dog.
   Ramada Rodham Hayman: My parents are dead, Topper. My dog ate them.
   
10. Robin Hood Men in Tights
    Little John: Let me introduce you to my best friend: Will Scarlet.
    Scarlet: Scarlet's my middle name. My full name is Will Scarlet O'Hara. [pause] We're from Georgia.
    
11. Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure
    Bill: So-crates - "The only true wisdom consists in knowing that you know nothing".
    Ted: That's us, dude.
    
12. Happy Gilmore
    Shooter McGavin: You're in big trouble though, pal. I eat pieces of [another word for poo] like you for breakfast!
    Happy Gilmore: [laughing] You eat pieces of [another word for poo] for breakfast?
    Shooter McGavin: [long pause] No!
    
13. Billy Madison
    Principal: Mr. Madison, what you have just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.
    Billy Madison: Okay, a simple "wrong" would've done just fine.
    

This concludes today's (PG version of the) Thursday 13.  To see more participants, go here!