You contemplate a liquid diet for your seven year old, who seems to have forgotten how to chew with his mouth closed. They can't smack if they drink their corn dogs through a straw....right?
It never fails, when playing school with your four year old, that you are the sole receiver of a "sad face" when it comes time to fill out the day's behavior chart. It goes something like this, "Daddy gets a happy face. Sarah gets a happy face. Ben gets a happy face. (Turning to look you directly in the eyes) Mommy, you get a sad face." And you're fairly confident this is but a tiny glimpse of what life will be like for the duration of her tween and teen years - completely unfounded disdain for Mom.
You know with absolute certainty that your four year old will fall out of her chair at least once every meal, completely by accident. (You're pretty sure she's destined to be the next Molly Shannon.)
A lack of toys in the beach condo is no problem for your toddler, who resorts to trying in swim diapers for entertainment. It's only a problem when, in a bi-polar instant, she decides she doesn't want to wear them on her leg anymore and can't get them off fast enough.
And in response to the prompt for Working Mommy Wednesday today, "You Know You're Stressed When..."
You barricade yourself in the bathroom for a temporary mommy timeout, which most likely involves a good cry, only to have three small children pounding on the door within nanoseconds of you getting it locked.
You lay your head on the pillow after a completely and utterly exhausting day only to be kept awake by the running to-do list rolling through your mind like the credits on an animated movie.
You consequently keep a piece of paper next to your bedside so that you can free the to-do list from your brain. The sad part is that it just frees the space previously occupied by those items for new ones to creep up and continue to keep you awake.
While doubling as the office receptionist you answer the phone with "Good morning" around 4pm, "Good afternoon" around 9:30am, and have called way more than your fair share of men "ma'am" and women "sir".
Despite managing to get the kids to school with all of their accouterments including blankets, lunches, homework, jackets, spare clothes, and teacher treats, you weren't even able to remember to bring your own purse to work. And you're lucky you remembered to change out of your bedroom slippers. (Or did you?)
Linking up today with: