Mom Things: The Question Edition

Being a mom means hearing approximately nine bajillion questions a day from the time your child is old enough to utter the simplest "Why?" until, I can only presume, the day they start thinking they're smarter than you, which at this rate, will be when my oldest is around eight years old.

The mom things today are a sampling of such questions.

There are the intellectually challenging ones:

~ Why does the water coming out of the faucet feel cold on my fingers, but it doesn't feel cold in my mouth?

~ Why do you put money in a bank?  Do they really have all that money in the building?

~ What is fog?

~ Is infinity a number?

~ Why isn't Pluto a planet anymore?

~ Why doesn't God let it snow in Georgia?

There are the ones that make you go "Awww..."

~ These shoes don't fit me, can we give them to someone who doesn't have any shoes?

~ Do we have any extra food in our pantry to share with people who are hungry?

~ Grandpop, where are your Mommy and Daddy?  [In heaven]

Above all else, there are the funny ones:

~ Mommy, do you know what "Warp of War" means?  (No, what does it mean?)  It means "please" in Spanish.  (I think you mean "Por favor"...)

~ At the hospital, I didn't see, how did that man get Abby out of Mommy's belly?

~ Why can't I wear just underwear to the restaurant?  

~ If you aren't alive, you can't open presents. Right, Mommy?

~ How do you tell the difference between a bank robber and a kid robber?  (Which, by the way, is apparently another term for kidnapper.)

~ Why did God make sharks? They're just *so* mean. 

~ (Counting in the car) ...one hundred and eight, one hundred and nine...a million! [pause] Mommy, what comes after one hundred and nine?

~ If you get arrested on the side of the road while you have us kids in the car, what will they do with us?  Take us with you?  Or leave us on the side of the road?  (Why would I be arrested on the side of the road?)  For speeding.  

~ (After emerging from bed following tuck-in, almost nightly) Mommy, why do people have...[pause as she looks around, frantically trying to think of a subject for her question]...ceilings/floors/hair? 

~ Are we going to Bone-Jangles (aka Bojangles...chicken & biscuits)?  (Bone-Jangles just doesn't sound tasty.)

~ (In reference to my eyeliner) Is that a cigarette?  (Not quite.)

~ Why is the llama licking the toilet paper?

(To clarify, the llama is actually pitching a fit whilst shopping with Mama which caused the contents of the cart to fly all around.  I believe the llama is yelling and the "toilet paper" (paper towels) are supposed to be a backdrop. [from Llama Llama Mad at Mama])

~(Holding up the middle finger)  Daddy, is this a bad sign?  [Seriously, that is terrible, but I still had to stifle the laughter while he answered that one.  By the way, he did not learn that from us!]

That's all folks!  I'll be back next week with some more-traditional Mom Things!

Linking up today with...


Aneesa said...

oh my goodness! This is some good stuff girl!! I cracked up! MY kids would ask that exact same question about that Llama! And Michael is totally the one that gets out of bed and tries to think of random questions to ask. Today, while baking a cheesecake, Michael asked me about the eggs, "are there baby chickens in here?" and you can imagine the following questions. Its just a sign that our kids are curious and intelligent, right?

Crystal said...

This is funny stuff. I like the underwear question. It makes sense in their little minds, I'm sure. My son asked me why he can't see the cat's "bagina."

Stacey said...

LOL Those are all so funny! I love the things that kids come up with. I cracked up at the Warp of War one though. Too funny! And why IS the llama licking the toilet paper?

An Imperfect Momma said...

Oh my word! Too cute...Warp of War. I am not looking forward to some of those questions...:o)

Sherri said...

Oh, these are classic! Thanks for the good laughs this morning....and I still wonder about poor Pluto.

Aren't you glad he didn't SEE where the baby came out?? That's too cute. You have some very clever little ones there, keep writing these down!

Debbie said...

How does she do it?

Jennie, you just make me laugh week after week, and I love it! I says so much about you and your parenting style that you find the little things so remarkable.

Because they are.
Just think, someday your kids will be able to read all of this.

I think warp of war is my favorite this week, but it's always such a close call.

BTW, enjoy it. In about 10 years, they stop having questions. At that point, they have all the answers.

Susan DiMickele said...

So funny! And THANKS so much for the kind words about my book!

Valerie M. said...

Jennie, This is great! I laughed so hard that my co-workers probably think I'm crazy. Your kids are so funny. I get those types of questions also. As a matter of fact, I got the middle finger question from Shaia, complete with the middle finger up in the air. I love your writing! Please write a book, I would buy it.

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