Mom Things: Infirmary Edition

There is no protocol for when your child throws up in public, but you are now aware that this is one of the worst moments in the life of a parent for so many reasons.  (Especially if there is a innocent bystander involved.)

Three things that are critical to have on hand in the first aid kit:  hydrogen peroxide, band-aids, and Neosporin.  Inevitably, you will be out of at least two out of three of those things when your child has his first big bike accident.

Incidentally, you decide that there is no box of band-aids too large for a family with three kids.

The pharmacist at CVS knows you by name.  That's either tremendous customer service or you have picked up entirely too many prescriptions for the beloved pink goo (more commonly known as amoxicillin).

You didn't go to medical school, but you consider yourself qualified enough to be able to distinguish between hives, impetigo, ringworm, regular diaper rash vs. yeast, and generic skin irritations.  As a result, you briefly consider undercutting the pediatrician's office and setting up a clinic at your house, but ultimately decide the malpractice insurance isn't worth it.  (And you wonder where your kids get their overactive imaginations...)

You're proud of your little ones for learning to share....but if they'd been selfish with the Pink Eye, you'd have been okay with that.

Defying all odds, you witnessed your usually spirited three year old sit as still as a statue for splinter removal.  Turns out, she knew that if she did, there would be some sort of reward (in the form of candy) at the end of it.

You hesitate to say it out loud, but you can't believe between three kids and six years and a half years as a parent, you've yet to experience a broken bone.  (And NOW, you're knocking on wood!)

You have at least one little druggie in your brood who feigns coughing and follows you around with a medicine dropper in hopes of scoring some of the "good stuff".

You've tried all kinds of thermometers; temporal, oral, under-arm.  The fact remains that the best test for a fever is a mommy's lips on a baby's forehead.