And the Mom things continue...

You've heard of and dealt with projectile vomiting many a time, but you are also familiar with the phenomenon of projectile medicine.  This occurs when your children are given any type of medicine other than the beloved "pink stuff" and includes involuntary spraying out of the mouth, most often characterized by the fact that you end up wearing more of it on your shirt than they actually swallow.  The incidence of projectile medicine increases exponentially when you and/or the child are dressed and ready to go somewhere.

There is something about missing out on those last 5-10 minutes of sleep they would have gotten had you not had to wake them up for school/church/an appointment that turns them from the normal angelic child they are into the devil incarnate. 

One of your biggest successes in parenting life is to be able to say, "Hooray!  We weren't that late!"

You keep a "small" stash of snacks in your car in case of emergency.  You never know when you might end up stuck in traffic, stranded in the snowy mountains, or spending an extra three hours at a doctors appointment that should have taken five total minutes.

Of course the best things in life are free, but you also know that some of life's greatest treasures cost one dollar or less, like a bag of popcorn at Target, those little rubber figurines that grow when you put them in water, and $ store coloring books.

You now know not to brag about how healthy your children have been lately.  This will only bring about an onslaught of sickness, including four infected ears and a fridge full of antibiotics.

Because it was Easter, you attempted to get all of your kids to smile and look at the camera, and you got this in the process -

If that doesn't sum it all up in one picture, nothing does.

Outlandish statements made by your children become your primary source of entertainment.  For instance, you overheard this conversation the other day while your husband was bathing your three year old:

3yo:  Why did you take your glasses off, Daddy?
Daddy:  Because I put my contacts in.  Does that bother you?
3yo:  Yes.  It makes me very angry.

And on the way to school:

3yo:  Why is CVS closed?
Me:  They don't open until 8 o'clock.
3yo:  But I see a light on.
Me:  I guess they do that so people don't come in and steal things.
3yo:  But why don't they want people to steal things, Mama?

You've experienced the hallow leg syndrome.  That is, approximately 10 minutes after you get up from a full meal, one or all of your children approach you and say, "I'm still hungry."  Really?  Where are they putting that food?

You're a little frightened by your daughter's amazing acting abilities after she convinced you that she dropped her shoe out of the car window the other day (only to find out she had tucked it down next to her in the carseat).  What is mostly-innocent fun right now could easily transform into full-fledged, convincing lies down the road.  Perhaps you won't encourage her to pursue the dramatic arts after all.


P.S. - Not sure what the significance is, and half of the hits are probably me, but I realized in passing that we've reached over 10,000 page views.  Not too shabby!  Thanks for reading. 


Debbie said...

Yeah... well... we're an addicted bunch you know.

Love these! I used to cover my church dress with a long bathrobe until jussssst before leaving because of one certain little pukey daughter.

Cara said...

I keep my small stash of snacks in my purse. My 2 yr old son has just recently figured this out and I keep finding him trying to get in it.
If i had a dollar for every time I've said "we aren't that late" I'd be rich! I've only got one kid, we will never make it anywhere on time when more come along.

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