Because a list, I can probably handle...

I am absolutely terrible at change. It is perhaps my greatest fear in life. I am not just loyal to a fault, I'm comfortable to a fault. Even if things are not as good as they could be, if it's my routine, that's what I do. Because I am the biggest creature of habit in the entire world.

So when things change, I'm a bit like a poor lost child in any gigantic department store of your choice. I wander around aimlessly, often teary-eyed, casually at first and then more and more frantically.  Needless to say, unemployment has rocked my world. (This seems like an appropriate time to mention that the term "funemployment" is not just a non-reality for me, but it's a mystery to me as to how someone could enjoy it.)

I should mention that my time with my girls has been priceless thus far.  They've been a joy and have been a great bright spot for me.  I can't deny that.

But - it's just not what I'm used to.  Not yet, at least.

My husband, who is my best friend as well as a tremendous employee with many, many networking opportunities, landed me a meeting with a VP of a company this afternoon.  After just nine days of unemployment, my husband has come to the rescue.  I don't know what the position is about, what they are expecting, or anything.  I don't know what will come of it, if anything.  But the prospect of having an interview, and so quickly, has brightened my outlook.

Of course, you know how my mind works...and if you don't, let's just say it's a little scary in there.  With each new opportunity comes a fresh series of things for me to worry about.  Like how to actually interview.  What to wear to the interview.  How to do my hair (because, really, I don't do that).  What time to show up.  Dealing with either a job offer or a rejection.  Feeling guilty because Sam has to miss work for me to do these things.  Knowing that my interviewer knows Sam and how awesome he is and expects the same from me.  (Not too many people can live up to those standards - I assure you.  He's awesome!)

See what I mean?  Crazy, I tell you.

So - let's be optimistic and say that they offer me a job.  I can safely assume it will not be like my previous job.  Here are my list of fears about a potential new workplace:

~Not being able to wear jeans every day.
~Having to spend money on a new, more-professional wardrobe.
~Having to physically shop and try on clothes to beef up said wardrobe.

~Not being able to listen to music while I work.
~Not being able to speak candidly about political and religious topics.
~Inflexible hours.
~The potential to have to bring work home.
~A farther commute.
~Starting the job and realizing I'm way under-qualified.
~New coworkers with a whole host of fears related to them alone.

And of course, the advice I would give to myself would, "Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.  Each day has enough trouble of its own."

And then I have to force myself to hear the words.  And believe them.  And rely on a peace that I cannot provide myself. 

Now here I am begging some more prayers off of you.  Mostly for that peace and a calming of my nerves.  And a little dose of confidence would be nice too...but I don't want to be greedy!  The meeting is a 2pm EST today.  Thanks, guys.  I mean it.


Sharon Kirby said...

Jennie - I am reading your post right this minute - it's exactly 11:08 AM in California - which means you are 8 minutes into your interview. So, I just wanted you to know that you were prayed for DURING that time!

I have asked the Lord to give you peace in general, but particularly in this area of employment. I have asked Him to give you the assurance that if this is THE job for you, nothing will stop you from getting it. And I am praying for confidence for you - that you will be calm enough to let your naturally articulate and competent self to shine.

The verses you used (Don't worry about tomorrow...) are so good - and yet, how unable I often am to take them to heart. And here's another that is wonderful, but also difficult to hear and believe.

ALL things work together for good...

However, whether we believe it or not, it's still TRUE.

And that's what I've been saying to God, right now, for you - 15 minutes into your interview!

Best of luck, let me know how things went. (Hope your bra strap didn't break - HA!)


Sherri said...

Oh, I have been away from your blog too long! I missed all this...have to go back and catch up. But I can say that you are a tough cookie and it will all work out somehow.

Off to catch up on your life! I got crazy and didn't keep up with my reader....

Debbie said...

I'm sorry to be a lousy blog reader and miss the opportunity to pray for you! Serves me right for being distracted and pulled in different directions.

I hope it went well!! Sure wish that you could see yourself through my eyes, Jennie. You would have a ton of confidence if you could.

That Sam is awesome, isn't he?

Shaquan said...

Hi Jennie I'm new 2 the momlicious, anyway I can relate 2 change. Change is very, very uncomfortable but we have 2 allow change 2 happen if we don't change just imagine who you'll be? That same individual every single day with nothing exciting in ur life, but with change there's a possibility that we can be who God want us 2 be. Also, Jennie how did u begin ur blog??? What site??? And what made u want 2 start blogging????

Denise said...

So sorry I missed this opportunity to pray for you during the interview. But, I have been praying for you about your work situation. (It's not hard to remember to pray when I'm doing it for several others). Hope the interview went well for you. Please let us know.

Your husband is pretty awesome!

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