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Mom Thingamajigs

You've been woken up in the most terrifying manner possible:  two tiny eyes staring silently at you from about three inches from your face.

You've crawled out of bed after not nearly enough sleep and staggered to the bathroom only to find that your child has beat you to it, and smeared poop on every possible surface in there.

You subsequently wondered who thought it was a good idea to have children in the first place.

The guilty party walks in while you're clorox-ing the whole place down, throws her arms around you and says, "I'm sorry, Mommy.  I love you."  Then you realize that cleaning poop up at 7am on a weekend totally stinks (no pun intended), but an unprompted apology and spontaneous hug pretty much make it worth it (the having-children thing anyway).

The sight of your older child reading to your younger one makes your heart go pitter patter.

You know better than to try to load or unload the dishwasher with an infant or toddler nearby.  Unless you just like the extra "help"...


You're not really sure why you bother washing the windows, knowing full well that as soon as you do, six or so greasy hands will follow you to undo your work in a matter of seconds.  Clean windows attract greasy hands much like open dishwashers attract nosy infants.

On an outing you discover that you have only one juice box to split between your two kids.  Expecting World War III (or equivalent), you hand the juice box to Kid 1 and say, "You're going to have to share with Kid 2."  Before they even take a sip of their own, they hand it over in an unprecedented act of selflessness.  Moments like that almost take your breath away.

You realize that most kids go through a know-it-all phase, but what you fear is that as smart as your six-year-old is, he might end up actually knowing it all.  You consider that the secret is to not let him know if he ends up being smarter than you.  Bluffing is becoming your new forte.

Among your secret weapons in times of overwhelming emotional breakdowns: silly faces.  Works like a charm.  Usually.

2 comments:

Debbie said...

Aw, these are great as usual, stinky poop and all.

I think that love/hate relationship between kids and dishwashers is one of the wonders of the universe. As a toddler, they develop a crush ON them. Around the age of 12, they seem to develop an allergy TO them.

Kat @ measuring my life in l-o-v-e said...

These are great - add to the list of attractants of greasy hands is a clean/wiped off tv!

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