Your cell phone goes missing and you automatically assume one of the children is responsible. Your suspicions are confirmed when you find it underneath your bed, where the suspected four year old culprit was last seen "reading" your Kindle. (Apparently, under-the-bed is a great place to go when you've stolen Mom's electronic devices.)
You might not have time for 45 minute long DVD workouts, but you are convinced that pretending to be Prince Charming and dancing around with your four and one year olds counts as significant cardio activity.
If there were a contest for it, you know beyond a shadow of a doubt that your kids would win the title for Best (Worst?) Bed Head.
Sometimes you laugh at nothing at all just to hear your parrot-like toddler laugh right behind you. You love how she likes acting like she's in on the joke. Whether this even is a joke or not.
You find it perplexing when other parents tell you their children freely admit they are tired and even ask to go to sleep. Your kids don't do that. In fact, you think your kids would sooner endure water-boarding than willingly go to bed.
You knew for sure you were going to go absolutely insane staying at home with your kids when you lost your job...what you didn't realize is that you would get to experience (among some unhappy times) moment after sweet moment of things just like this...
You smile every time you approach the Publix parking lot because you know your toddler will shout "Yay!" in excited anticipation of that free cookie. (This is a cross-post from the "You know you go to Publix too often" list...should I ever make one of those.)
You have learned the hard way that while it seems like a good idea to put a few toys in your child's bed in an effort to get them to like being in there, what you failed to think through is that if they roll over mid-nap onto one of those talking stuffed animals, well, naptime is then over.
Thanks to all of your brilliant parenting expertise and how well you know your own kids, you were regrettably right when you surmised it would be a matter of days before your toddler overcame the few extra inches you gained by turning the crib around. Mom - 1, Toddler - 1 (or 2 or 3...whatever the score is, I'm pretty sure she's winning.)
In all of your stellar wisdom, you have opted not to forbid your children from partaking of sodas, candy, and other processed things. It's not because you're lazy or because you particularly like those things yourself, but mostly because you've seen what happens when kids who don't regularly enjoy these things get ahold of them. And you prefer to build a tolerance up in your kids. See, that's a great reason. Right???
You've found that the best way to respond to your know-it-all seven year old is with a taste of his own medicine. When he gives you a fun fact about the weather you respond, "I knooowwww", just like he does when you tell him something. And you think it's getting through just how rude that sounds. Man, I love being a mom.
You're not sure why your toddler cannot hold still for a diaper change, nap, or car ride, but when you get out the fingernail polish, she sits as still as a grandpa waiting on a doctor's appointment. You consider carrying nail polish around and flashing it when you need her to sit still.
Went a little long today....hey, it's my prerogative. Happy Mid-Week!
A BREAK IN THE ACTION
5 months ago