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How to know you're a mom: Christmas Edition

You are considering leaving the nativity scene out all year.  It would serve as a great reminder, of course, but it's also your two year old's new favorite toy.

The fact that your eight year old son said to you, "I had to borrow your Bible because I can't find mine.  I got to Genesis chapter 8." was not prompted or out of compulsion, but simply because he wants to read through the Bible means more than words can express.

Your favorite outfit (which is, coincidentally, one of the only ones that fits well) right now is a lime green t-shirt and red yoga pants.  You justify wearing it everywhere by saying it's your Christmas outfit.  Red and green, right?

Every time you look at the Christmas tree, you are reminded that the kids decorated it 95% of the way without help.  You notice because of the solitary branches containing a dozen unique ornaments clinging on for dear life.  And the major victory is that you left them that way.  That is part of the fun of decorating a tree at Christmas.

The highlight of Christmas 2011 might indeed be watching your sweater-clad eight year old as he stood up in front of a classroom full of young married families in Sunday School and read the Christmas story to a rug-full of children.  He's just a little old man in a bigger-than-eight-year-old body.

During your most recent trip to Callaway Garden's Fantasy in Lights as you sat on the beach and watched the light shows of both the actual Christmas story and 'Twas the Night Before Christmas, your ornery two year old loudly declared, "I don't like baby Jesus.  I don't like Santa."  So, Daddy asked, "Who do you like?"  Without a moment's hesitation, she replied, "I like Big Bird."

You have no interest in correcting the inventive lyrics of your girls as they belt out, at the top of their lungs, without inhibition [non]traditional Christmas tunes:
Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle All the Way, How much fun in history to ride on open sleigh, Hey!

Frosty the snowman had a very happy soul and two eyes made out of snow and 4-top button nose!  Frosty the snowman had a very happy soul.  The children know he came to life one day!

Frosty the Snowman was a very happy snow!
While your two year old "napped", your five year old helped you decorate sugar cookies.  Long story short, in the time it took you to answer one phone call your entire supply of sprinkles was depleted.  

You attended your kids' Christmas parties wearing flip-flops...because you could.  And you were really bummed about that.  Christmas just ain't Christmas without...temperatures less than 50.  (Shoot, I'd take less than 70.)

This year's Christmas-picture-taking session went better than year's past and provided the most fantastic outtakes shots.  Though you dread the act of doing it every single year, you never regret the process when all is said and done.

There's the one where the photographer's helper (Daddy) tries to capture the subjects' attention by chucking pinecones at them:

T

The one where the photographers helper made "tooting" noises much to the chagrin of the man meditating quietly by the pond, but to the riotous delight of three camera subjects: 9125


The one where they all forgot to drink their V8 (remember those commercials?):


The one where the youngest child is clearly put out about something:


The contender for awkward family photo during which your two year old bounces on your five and eight year old like a bucking bronco:


At least there are always a few that are just awesome.  Those can be my Christmas present to you, dear blog followers.  And since it's not Christmas yet...you'll just have to wait.

4 comments:

Debbie said...

And just think...
Next year you'll have to figure out how to make the baby smile all at the same time! There is never a dull moment in Sheppard Land, is there?

My favorite shot appears to be the one prompted by the tooting noises. I should be ashamed to tell you that.

(Grammie called me in the night and I prayed for Sam's cousin. I (we) woke up and began to pray again.)

Emily said...

OH wow I loved the captions for your 'takes' for your Christmas picture! Sam seems so quiet, I can't imagine him doing all that! haha!! What a fun post to read!

Carrie said...

Great pictures! :)

Sharon said...

If the *perfect* photo is anywhere near as delightful as the outtakes, I'm in for quite a treat!

Love your kids, and love you! Love the way you look at life - slightly warped, definitely quirky, a tad irreverent - but oh so wise. (Yup, you and me - two peas in a pod).

I'll be back for the next photo op - but trust that you are enjoying this holiday season, and that you're resting.

GOD BLESS!

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