Unsolicited Advice from a Christian "Abuela"

Last week, Abby, Sarah, and I were in Honduras on a mission trip.  The experience was indescribable and beautiful and some day I hope to debrief and write about it.  (Today is not that day.)  While we were there, however, I came face to face with fleeting years, as I was walking back to our team housing from the orphanage lunchroom and heard a young man call out to me, "Adios, Abuela!" This was followed by a cackle and a huge grin.  Apparently, these youngsters think they're funny when they call 40-something moms visiting from foreign countries "Abuela."  Over the course of the week, three of us ladies received this hilarious designation to the reception of giggles from the boys.  (I can respect this. I laugh at my own jokes all the time.)  While I technically am I enough to be a grandmother, I feel much younger than any grandmother ought.  Nevertheless this nickname made me think about a few things in the face of the dumpster fire that is the United States of America right now, so I am capitalizing on the opportunity to impart some grandmotherly wisdom to any remaining readers I might have. (Hey there, you!)  

Sometimes when we look around at the culture and the world at large we are tempted to fall into despair, become discouraged, feel despondent.  It's little wonder. As Christians, we are watching sin and post-Christian society reap what they have sown. My first bit of advice (this one's free) is not to fall into that trap.  We should grieve sin, but we should not stay there.  We are called to be people of action.  We are to be hearers and doers of the Word.  We are God's instruments for sharing the good news.  And we were placed here and now for a purpose, for such a time as this.  This is our divine appointment.  Let's not squander it.  

My target audience for this post is anyone younger than me.  Consider this my annual advice column.  (Maybe I am a grandmother. I thought I was turning 42 this year, but I'm just bad at math. I am still 40 for a few days. Whoops.) 

Transitions have never been my strength, so let's just get down to business.

Jennie's Unsolicited Grandmotherly Advice for the Younger Folks (of various ages, but namely teens and up - also in no particular order, and geared toward those who profess to be Christians...disclaimer OVER)

Live in the Bible.  When I was younger, I did not prioritize time in the Word, and I have spent my years since playing catch up.  I promise you, reading and understanding God's Word is as essential as food.  It is everything you need for life and godliness.  It is useful for teaching, rebuking, correction, and training in righteousness. It is how we understand the character of God and can combat the uncertainties and lies of our culture.  Please read your Bible.

Laugh a lot.  Particularly at yourself.  Find the humor in the world.  I wholeheartedly believe that laughter is a gift, a pressure relief valve.  God has a sense of humor, and we see evidence of that time and time again in Scripture (a talking donkey, Elijah's toilet jokes, "Can anything good come out of Nazareth?," idols falling down and their heads falling off).  Laughter is a balm for the soul.  Don't forget about it, especially when times are tough.  We weep with those who weep, but we also laugh together.  

Don't date around.  This might be counter-cultural, but as a Christian, I would heavily discourage overly testing the waters.  The purpose of dating for a young Christian should be to find a spouse, a person with whom you can enter into the covenant of marriage. While I don't think marriage should be entered into lightly, neither should dating.  There's nothing wrong with friendship and boundaries.  These, too, are gifts from God.  Covenants don't need practice.  The marriage covenant is a commitment between a man and a woman before God.  Pray before you enter it.  But on that note...

Find a godly man or woman and marry them.  When you find your person, put a ring on it.  The trend is to wait and wait and wait to get married.  Obviously, not everyone will find someone to marry in their early twenties, and that might not be God's plan for you.  However, if you do find your lifelong partner.  Just get married.  Do it.  Grow up together.  Do hard things together.  Seek God's wisdom and counsel together.  And then...

Have the babies.  If you want to do kingdom work, heed the command to be fruitful and multiply.  We need warrior Christians having warrior babies and teaching them all that God has commanded.  As much as it is possible for you, have children and love them well.  (Obviously, there are exceptions to this, but that leads to my next point...)

Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.  That's not from scripture, but it is from Teddy Roosevelt (maybe), and the premise is biblical.  We were born in this time and in this place for a purpose.  Maybe that means marriage and kids, but maybe it means being single and serving in another way.  Whatever we do, we do it heartily for the Lord.  Don't forget that.

Overcommunicate.  A lot of strife could be avoided if we spoke clearly and precisely.  If we asked questions.  If we spoke our expectations.  If we voiced our concerns.  I'd rather be accused of overcommunicating than undercommunicating or miscommunicating any day.  This goes for daily life, friendships, marriage, business dealings, ALL OF LIFE.  Don't be afraid to ask for clarification.  And clearly state what you mean.  

Let love cover it.  This is advice I can give only because I need to take it.  When someone wrongs you, go to them to reconcile or let love cover it.  It really is that simple.  The sooner the better.

Don't expect perfection.  When I was younger, I was a perfectionist.  Now I know that the secret to happiness is lowered expectations.  (Just kidding, maybe.)  Don't despair if everything doesn't go according to your plans.  Excellence is a worthy and honorable pursuit, but sometimes good enough is good enough. 

Do not forsake the means of grace.  Read your bible. Be baptized. Sit under solid, biblical teaching.  Pray.  Worship corporately on Sunday.  Fellowship with other believers.  Participate in the Lord's Supper.  Draw near to God and He will draw near to you.

We don't know what tomorrow holds.  But if the end isn't near, we have work to do.  Youngins' (and everyone else for that matter), live this life well, before we lose the opportunity.  Simple faithfulness reaps eternal rewards.  Trust and obey.  

With love,

A 0% hispanic Abuela