The Day the Addict Decided to Quit

Maybe it's the fact that I'm so seriously sleep-deprived that I might literally snap the neck of the next person who crosses me.

Maybe it's because I have the raging hormones of a woman nearing her 34th week of pregnancy and the most minor of things brings me to tears/violent anger/complete and total loss of speech.

Maybe I'm just tired of being inundated with opinion after opinion after opinion.  Shoot, even the ones I agree with are getting on my nerves.

See?  Grumpy.

I think, even if just temporarily, I have to take drastic measures.  For my sanity.  For my family's sanity.  I have to get the heck out of Dodge off of Facebook.

The first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem.  Well, I have one.  What used to be a fun way of sharing pictures, keeping in touch with old friends, and (ahem) publicly laughing about my kids has turned into a chronic source of stress for me.  It's probably pretty pathetic that Facebook should have such a profound effect on anyone.  And that's why I have to take steps to remedy this.

How different will my thoughts be if I'm not wondering from my kitchen what so-and-so has to say about XYZ over there in the computer?  What if I spent the time I casually spend at the computer with my husband or my kids, or taking a walk, or (dare I say) doing actual housework?  What if by separating myself from the source of my anxieties, I spare my witness by refraining from saying things I shouldn't be saying (or thinking) in the first place?

This is just temporary.  I'm too weak to make a permanent move.  But just like my Facebook fast of October 2010, when I was steadfastly committed to studying for my PE exam, I have a goal in mind.  I want to see if a three week hiatus does anything for my soul.  It certainly can't hurt.

The reason I am posting this in a blog and not as a Facebook status is because I don't want to be an attention-seeking drama queen.  I just fear that if I offered no explanation whatsoever before disappearing that someone might send the police over to make sure I hadn't dropped dead.

Hey, maybe I'll find some time to blog again.  Silver lining, folks, silver lining.  (Or not.  Maybe you hate my blog posts, in which case, hahahaha.)  Check in here if you're missing me.  Don't flatter yourself, Jennie.

If anyone is absolutely desperate to get in touch with me, please do.  Email me, text me, email me so you can text me.  You can even try calling.  I might answer.  (Probably not.  I apologize in advance.)  And with that, I'm off to delete my FB app off of my phone and make some coffee.  Because I've been awake since 3:45am and I hear the pitter patter of little feet.  My day has officially begun
Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.  Romans 12:2


Sharon said...

I still have not joined FB - and for some odd reason, I view this as some sort of badge of courage. The more I read about how *addicting* it can be, the more I'm glad that I've made this decision. And, if someone "unliked" me??? I'd probably fall apart. I have trouble when someone unfollows my blog...ahem.

So, Jennie, I for one hope you do more blogging, as this is the ONLY way that I can keep in touch with you! And I must have my Sheps.


Debbie said...

Dear Attention Seeking Drama Queen:

Believe it or not, I actually came not even knowing that you had updated. My purpose was to share a link of a blog that at this moment is doing some very good posts about raising children. She homeschools (Blogger says that is not a word, but blogger can stuff it.) a houseful, and she has shared some insights that I would never have thought of before. How-evah... I won't share it since you are full to the max with advice right now, and I don't want to be cyber slapped by a ball of hormones going through facebook withdrawls.
I don't have a personal facebook page for a hundred different reasons, all very specific to me and my own personal weaknesses. I have one for my SS class, but since I'm planning to stop teaching it at the beginning of next quarter, I will probably disconnect from it. No one really posts on it anyway.

I hope the step back gives you a sincere sense of peace. If I had a house full of family like you do, I wouldn't "need" any other interactions, and I can see how you just plain don't have time for them.. I'm here in an empty house the majority of the time, even at night, so it's different here. Still, I choose a different venue than facebook because I'm pretty sure it would not make me the best version of myself. .

Debbie said...

Also: Like Sharon, I hope you do more blogging with whatever measly computer minutes you have. Do you realize what a blessing you are in the way you write of your life? Your honesty and insight are a breath of fresh air in a very stale world. You don't know how many times I have contrasted something I read here in my head to a contrary statement I might have read or heard from a young person near your age. You are not superficial, and that is a gift that needs to be shared.

Jennie said...

Mrs. Sharon & Mrs. Debbie - Words cannot adequately express how much your encouragement has meant to me over the course of this blog adventure. Thank you so much for your faithful "following" and for always finding a way to say just what I need to hear. Most importantly, thank you for being prayer warriors throughout. You are both so special to me!

Mrs. Sharon - CONGRATULATIONS on your son's upcoming marriage! You're going to be an *awesome* for real Grammie some day. (I know you said this on the last post, but I like to be a day late and a dollar short. That's definitely my M.O.)

Mrs. Debbie - Please feel free to let me know what blog you are referring to! I can always *not* read it (or really, the comments sections because those are the most inflammatory). I'm curious to see if it's one I already follow.

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