In the meantime, we keep her around for our entertainment. This week alone she's given me some quotable quotes - the ones that make me laugh, make me smile, and make me go "hmmmm..."
Abby: You know a great way to get into a car accident?
Me: How, Abby?
Abby: Steer really hard.
"I spilled some tea on your Bible, Mommy. The one in the kitchen."
Oh. That Bible. Guess she knows how heavily I rely on that particular cookbook...
"Sarah wants a hot dog for lunch, but I want a corndog with no bread on it."
After dropping Ben off at day camp, the girls were sad because they weren't old enough to go (anytime there are inflatables that they don't get to play on, it's a sad day). We went to Chick-Fil-A for some hash browns...their favorite. I built it way up by saying, "While Ben is at camp, we get to have special treats like having tots!" Abby's matter-of-fact reply? "Mommy, camp is way more special than tots."
With a sigh she lamented, "I wish ponies were real..."
"But I'm five, and you're like thirty." (Actually, I'm not...but even if I were, don't say it like I've got one foot in the grave.)
"If I tell Leah about Jesus, I'll be a missionary." (Then I heard her whispering in her 4-month old sister's ear.)
While there are about a thousand ways that Abby and I are different from each other, the main one is that she is completely, totally, 100% secure in who she is. She is confident. And I have so much to learn from this skinny blond five year old.
(Who is not even afraid to take on much older children in a sack race.)
After the most amazing year in Pre-K, we told Abby that we were going to homeschool her for kindergarten. I didn't know what her reaction would be.
She made it easy on me. She was thrilled. In fact, so thrilled, that she told everyone she saw - the lunch lady in the primary school cafeteria, the dental hygienist who cleaned her teeth, the cashier at McDonalds, her Pre-K teacher..."Mommy's going to be my teacher next year! I'm going to school at home!"
And me, being me, I kept shushing her and telling her she didn't have to tell everyone. After all, I was (and am) still wrapping my brain around the whole idea. I've been led to this place, and I've obeyed, but I still have to get beyond my own misconceptions and fear of what people will think of me before I start broadcasting it. If they ask, I might tell them, but I'm not going to volunteer the information.
Finally, Abby turned to me and said, "What? I'm just excited you're going to be my teacher. What's so bad about that?"
The answer is "nothing." There's nothing bad or wrong about it. What's wrong is...me.
It's the perfect parallel to how I am about sharing my faith.
"But I don't want to feel uncomfortable, or make other people feel uncomfortable, or have to defend my positions or beliefs, or feel attacked."
It's all part of the territory. Guess I need to get over it.
Thank you, Lord, for Abby and her boldness, for her childlike faith and her unjaded spirit. And, God, please help me to be more like her. I know that you have called me to homeschool my children. Please fill me with the confidence I need, daily. But even more importantly, give me the confidence to share Jesus without fear. Thank you.