Fun Friday...Quotable Quotes

I'll get straight to the point.  These are actual conversations I've had with my family members of late.  For your reading pleasure. 

Ready, set, go!

Me:  (in bed trying to get comfortable) I can't sleep because I keep hearing this grinding noise in my neck.
Sam:  (with a smirk)  Maybe you should get some earplugs.

Me:  (in the car, just making conversation with the kids) What do you like best?  A cow, a horse, or a donkey?
Sarah:  Horse!
Abby:  Well, actually, a goat.
Ben:  Do I have to pick?
Me: (assuming he's taking his usual diplomatic stance on favorites) What is it, Ben?  Don't want to hurt any of their feelings?
Ben:  No.  I just don't like any of them.
(Clearly he inherited his mother's feelings about farm animals.)

While discussing Halloween costumes and explaining to Abby that I would prefer for her to wait to be a witch until we can borrow Grandmom's awesome hat (or really never, but you know) Sarah pipes up, "Why does Grandmom have a witch hat?  Did she have a coupon?"  (I think you really have to know Joyce to appreciate how perfect this comment was.)

Sarah:  I'm afraid of the dark!  I don't want to close my eyes.
Sam:  What do you see when you close them?
Sarah:  Bats.
Sam:  We don't have bats in our house.
Sarah:  Well...is the alarm on?
Sam:  Yes, the alarm is on.
Sarah:  So bats and bad guys can't get in?
Sam:  Right.  And we don't have bad guys here.  They all live in California.  Sorry, Mrs. Sharon. 

(Sweet follow-up the next morning)
Sarah:  I didn't dream!  And I held Abby's hand and I stayed in my bed all night!

As we checked into our first hotel in Montreal on our trip, the kids went downstairs to look at the pool (apparently, the only reason to go on vacation at all)
Abby:  They don't have a hot tub.
Me:  Not all hotel pools have hot tubs, Abby.
Abby:  Do Canadians know what hot tubs are?
Maybe I shouldn't have laughed at this, but it's not like Canada is behind the Iron Curtain or anything.

Abby:  Mommy!  Sarah's sucking on her fingers again!
Me:  Sarah Katherine!!!
Sarah:  Mommy Sarah!!!

Sarah:  You don't fit through small doors because you have a baby in your belly.

Sarah:  When you bounce "up and down, up and down" the baby goes up and down too!  (Seriously though, there is very little bouncing being done these days.)

I was singing different tones to Leah at different pitches while I was changing her diaper and she was doing her best to copy me, but she clearly prefers the lower notes. I said to her, "You can't go high?" And she immediately smiled, waved, and said, "Hi!"  Duh, Mommy.  Of course I can say "hi."

(At the dentist after having two, pretty large teeth extracted)
Dentist:  Ben did great.  I wish all of my patients were as relaxed as he was.
Ben:  (shrug) I didn't even know they'd already pulled my teeth out.  I thought they were still getting me ready.  Ahh, to be blissfully oblivious like Ben.

Sarah:  Do we do "finders keepers" in this family?
Me:  I don't think so.
Sarah:  So..."finder NOT keepers?"

Sarah: We're having sausage for breakfast?! Yummy!!! (pause) Let's name the baby "Sausage!" 

And one final one for the road -with 4.5 weeks to go at the time of the photo:

"I didn't know I was pregnant."

Happy Weekend-ing to You All!  

As for us, we are having our first-ever yard sale.  Wish us lots of success unloading our excess.  And if anyone has any tips they're dying to share with us, I'm all ears.