You Know You're a Mom When-sday

Once upon a time, in the same house, with the same family, one or two children ago, I was involved in a weekly posting ritual where I would recount some of the awesome/scary/hilarious/sobering/impressive things my kids did.  "How to Know You're a Mom" or "Mom Things," I called them.  It's been so long since I posted any, I felt the need to explain.  For a short while, I was part of a group of moms who made the weekly list and posted them to a page entitled "You Know You're a Mom Whens-daze" (I think).  Anyway, that fizzled out, and here we are today...

Just me, some serious inspiration in the form of four crazy kids, and an hour left in Wednesday.  I'm going to make this happen.

You Know You're a Mom When...

...you don't believe that humans evolved from apes, but you absolutely cannot deny the ape-like characteristics of your offspring.

 Seriously, if you can't find a Sheppard kid, just look UP.

...you tell your husband to play "spotter" for your maniacal 9-month old as she attempts to climb even higher on the firetruck-with-wheels on the tiled kitchen floor so you can go grab your camera to take a picture.

 (See, Daddy is over there.  Don't worry, nervous photo-lookers.)

...you said, "I don't even want to know what it looks like in your room," to your three year old as you marched her to her bed at naptime and she lawyered you with, "Well...close your eyes."

...your kids are being relatively still in the exam room of the pediatricians office and you feel the need to document it with a picture.  Turns out to be very telling of their personalities - the nine year old is reading War and Peace The Goblet of Fire (again), the six year old is sticking her tongue out, and the three year old is destroying the paper on the exam table.  The nine month old?  She's probably licking the floor.  She is the fourth child, after all.

...you end up having lively chats about the words "commutative" and "associative" laws with your nine year old because his expedient spelling abilities far surpass his math abilities.  It's hard to write sentences about your spelling words when you don't know what they mean.

...you've actually had to install a lock on the closet that your six year old and three year old share because they cannot resist the urge to change their clothes any less than fourteen times per day.  (Listen, kids, there are six people in this house.  I've got enough actual dirty laundry to keep me busy without having to guess which of these 13 shirts and skirts on the floor have been worn for more than 30 seconds.)

...your nap-resisting three year old finally crashes on the floor after a long day of clothing changes and VHS tape watching.  I truly love that Sleeping Beauty is propped up behind her.  I swear I didn't stage that.  (And if you've been reading the Mom Things all along, yes, this is the same toddler that refused to nap...some things never change.)

...your six year old will do anything to get her picture taken too, even if it means pretending to be asleep on the floor.

...you now know not to let your six year old taste your soup because she will not have the foresight to leave the bowl somewhere that the nine month old cannot reach it in her walker during the 45 seconds it takes for you to walk to the mailbox and return.  Turns out, lil' Leah really likes vegetable beef soup.

...you ask your nine year old which movie "The Odd Life of Timothy Green" is and, though he's never seen it, he gives you a completely comprehensive plot synopsis of it beginning with "There's this couple who is barren..." that he has pieced together from trailers alone.  Whoa.  And what nine year old uses the word "barren?"

...you absolutely relish in outdoor playtime on cold days because you get to watch the kids come inside and make and sip hot tea together.

...it makes you a little sad to see your nine month old peeping out of the blinds at her big sisters and brother.  Soon enough, little one, soon enough.

...you've figured out the perfect "punishment" for your nine year old's misbehavior - 30 seconds worth of hugs from his little sisters.  That ought to straighten him right up.

And with that, I missed Wednesday by 4 minutes.  Hey, beats not doing it at all!  Enjoy!  And, you know, I think we're about halfway through December - it's probably about time I start posting some of that Christmas-related stuff.  I know better than to make promises I can't keep, so until next time, be blessed!