You can always whet your kids' whistle with a nice cold glass of gingerbread man...known to the average person as "ginger ale".
If decorating the Christmas tree were an Olympic event, your kids would take the gold in "Securing the most ornaments on a single branch as close to the tip as possible."
Your seven year old scoffed at the sight of his stocking hanging on the mantel. "Pssshhh...those things look like socks!" Your reply - "That's what stockings are, Ben. Socks." - rendered him completely speechless. That's what it feels like to blow a little boy's mind.
You often describe your seven year old boy and four year old girl as an old married couple. They bicker like one. But they also love each other so much you can literally see it in their eyes.
Your wild-woman of a four year old stayed still long enough at her last haircut to have her hair braided like this:
That, friends, was a Thanksgiving miracle.
After spending six months+ assembling the backyard playground, it becomes worth it in a single-moment when you see your kids' smiles when they finally get to swing.
You can't decide whether to stop her from downloading viruses or encourage her to develop her typing skills, but either way you snapped a picture of your toddler navigating her way around the computer.
While reading Tonight on the Titanic (Magic Tree House), your son asks you which adjective best describes the Titanic sinking - sad, scary, or exciting? How on earth do you answer that?
Thanks to your toddler's cute little classmates playing up her obsession with her belly button, you now know if you say "Ding dong!" she will press on her belly button with one finger, as if it's a door bell. Silly babies.